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Great Sex At Any Age: What You Need To Know About Sex At 30, 40, 50 And Beyond

How’s the sex? It depends a lot on your age and life stage.

Sexuality is nature’s gift to us at birth, developing as we age and peaking sometime between high-school graduation and our 20-year class reunion, when we likely get to come face-to-face with he or she who was our first sexual encounter. Thereafter, many of us invest more than a little effort trying to restore our sexual selves to their former glory, be it with breast implants or erectile-dysfunction helpers.

Nature and society conspire to make it increasingly clear that we’re not who we used to be in the bedroom (or backseat). Here’s the lowdown on male and female sexuality through life’s stages.

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  • Female Teens to 30-Somethings: The Young and the Vigorous

    While women’s fertility is at its highest in their early- to mid-20s, their libidos don’t necessarily peak at the same time. The female sex drive is a mercurial force, affected by hormones, life circumstances, relationship status and self-image. Add technology to the list, too — as in the ready and not always responsible use of camera phones and the flirty thrills of sexting.

  • Male Teens to 30-Somethings: The Young and the Vigorous

    Testosterone, the primary male sex hormone, peaks in males around the late teens and remains in abundant supply through the 20s and 30s. This is the stuff that gives the fellas their mojo and helps the, er, rocket achieve lift off. Men in their teens to late 30s generally have enough of this love potion coursing through their veins to ensure a robust libido.

  • Female 40 to 50-Somethings: Ripe and Ready

    Conflicting forces have at the female libido in the midlife. Balancing motherhood and a career can have a dampening (or shall we say non-dampening?) effect on the sex drive. On the other hand, a study by University of Texas psychologist David Buss found that women in their 30s and 40s have both more sexual fantasies and actual sex than their younger counterparts, perhaps because of a subconscious evolutionary drive to conceive as many children as possible before the onset of menopause.

  • Male 40 to 50-Somethings: Ripe and Ready

    Though testosterone levels begin to wane in the 40s and 50s, most middle-aged men still regularly desire sex. The main difference, according to Saul H. Rosenthal, M.D., author of the book Sex Over 40, is that erections are less spontaneous and require more physical stimulation. Men in their middle years may also find it more difficult to “get it up” again within 24 hours of orgasm, making it all the more important to observe the chivalrous rule of “ladies first.”

  • Female 60-Somethings and Beyond: Seasoned and Sensual

    As women approach and pass through menopause, estrogen levels decrease significantly, sometimes resulting in vaginal dryness or thinning of the vaginal walls, making intercourse uncomfortable. On the bright side, the clitoris is located outside the vagina (let’s hope we’ve figured that much out over the years!) and is the main player in female orgasm. With corresponding changes in their mates’ sexual response, mature women can find themselves enjoying some of the most communicative, intimate and imaginative encounters of their lives. And aren’t those things the key to better sex at any age?

  • Male 60-Somethings and Beyond: Seasoned and Sensual

    For a man, trying to have sex at 75 can be like trying to hit a dartboard with a noodle. The Mayo Clinic puts it more directly: “The penis may take longer to become erect, and erections may not be as firm.” Tomato, tomahto. The fact is that, while a man’s sexual desire often remains ardent, his body’s interest in cooperating may change once he’s past his 60s. The good news? As the tried-and-true methods decrease in effectiveness, couples have all the more reason to communication and creatively experiment. (There’s more than one way to pop a champagne cork, after all.) The pharmaceutically inclined also have a small arsenal of tools at their disposal.

 
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11:07 AM on 02/14/2013
I think it really depends on the person/couple. Average stats is just that-average. Will it happen to you? Who knows. It's all about how one spends/spent their lives. If sex was the end all beat all of their existence in their young adulthood and they reach 50+ and find out they're not as cute as they thought anymore, then it's more mental than physical. Shows like Girls, Sex in the City, etc., aren't helping these folks where as reality can. You know your limits at any age. Best thing is to be yourself and do what's right for you at the level you can do it at.
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LemmonHerk
06:04 AM on 02/14/2013
You know what? In my late 50s, I don't WANT to get it on like I did in my 20s and 30s. One good bang, and I'm happy. I don't want to feel like I have to jump through hoops to grease someone's ego.
01:34 AM on 02/14/2013
well am glad is not sex through the teens........because am still thinking about that 9yr girl that gave birth !!!
10:20 PM on 02/13/2013
I still remember HOW to do it....I just can't remember WHY?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
name it
09:52 PM on 02/13/2013
56 here and my girlfriend gets it whenever she wants an orgasm. Mostly every night and twice on Sunday. Sure I'm lucky to have it still but it's not about age. It's genetics.......purely luck of the draw........
12:37 AM on 02/14/2013
sure
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
name it
01:31 AM on 02/14/2013
No brag, just fact. And I'm talking about Genetics. Don't take my word for it. Ask her......
06:12 PM on 02/13/2013
There is a reason the old bull is still in the field.......
05:32 PM on 02/13/2013
If you want to still have a sex life in your 60's, DON'T marry a man whose family runs heavily to diabetics. You'll be living a celibate married life, which, trust me, is a miserable thing.--(Barbara)
12:38 AM on 02/14/2013
Oh, I hope this doesn't get censored out. There's an old saying. They used it in the movie "The Color Of Money." It goes like this.

"If the knife can't cut the mustard, you can still like the jar." Trust me, there are plenty of ways. All you have to do is have a partner who's willing, and a little imagination.
02:23 PM on 02/18/2013
I grew up in a small town where the old men congregated in the barber shop for fun and companionship. One of their favorite things was to talk about sex to see what kind of reaction they could get from a 12 year old. I often saw them slapping their knees and laughing after I left as I passed by the big window. Your above statement about the jar was of course put differently but we youngins figured it out eventually.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
04:33 PM on 02/13/2013
Oh noes! How awful that the older woman might have to exert herself if she cared!
02:31 PM on 02/13/2013
Date an 18 year old?
02:24 PM on 02/13/2013
Over 60.......I'm not as good as I once was, But I'm as good once as I ever was!
01:12 PM on 02/13/2013
I wonder if my 15 year grandchild is going to read this. What should I tell him if he asks me some questions.
05:33 PM on 02/13/2013
Tell him the truth, of course!
06:09 PM on 02/13/2013
Oh, God, don't do that---you'll shock the little booger.
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mtheck07
I wake up with a post every morning...
12:59 PM on 02/13/2013
I'm in my 50's and sex is better than it has ever been. Just wish I had a partner.
01:21 PM on 02/13/2013
BOOM , that just happened :)
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allianceae
Tell the truth and short memory is no problem.
12:29 AM on 02/14/2013
Funny ... Hey, like they say ... it's all in the mind.
12:53 PM on 02/13/2013
What do toes have to do with sex? If you want to suck on something, move up a little bit ( you can look at that two ways). Sex is natural - sex is fun - sex is best when it's... 2 on one!!!
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Carol Young Woosley
12:07 PM on 02/13/2013
I had some good sex in my 20's & 30's but now in my 50's the sex is better than ever with my husband of 32 years. Back then we always had something to do or places to go to. Had good sex but never really took the time to enjoy each other. Now we have all the time in the world & sex is better than it has ever been. No time clock to punch & no children to take care of, always being interrupted if you know what I mean.
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rob371962
Free your mind and your a$$ will follow
11:58 AM on 02/13/2013
Hell, I'm 50 and still get a Saturn V rocket at a gust of wind.
12:38 AM on 02/14/2013
sounds like a personal problem
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rob371962
Free your mind and your a$$ will follow
06:32 AM on 02/14/2013
its personal, but it aint a problem.

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